ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
