JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He better not be in your backpack
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
