Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
