I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
