I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
