theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
