Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize