i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
