Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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