Porn is love you can see.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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