Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
