Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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