The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
