I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
