i barfeds in our rink
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize