ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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