I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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