I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Randomize
