Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
