after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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