my mouth tastes like poor choices
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
