Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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