YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
