omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
