so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
