great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
