please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
