Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
