I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
