The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We are all done wearing pants today
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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