We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize