I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
