i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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