O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
