everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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