I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
