Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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