She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
