Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
