ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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