I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize