i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize