His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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