Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize