Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
