We're facebook friends in real life
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
