I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize