I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
