i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
