Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
