Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
