I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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