If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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