I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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